Extracted from her blog.
i just hung up the phone..i had nothin more to say..now im gonna write everything out that i could not say on the phone as my heart wouldnt let me...i know you've been trying your ass off to make this work and you can also say this is my fault cause somehow im just running away from this problem i feel that its like somehow you know we dont fit each other...you said over the phone that it takes two hands to clap..i agree...but somehow i find my slef running away from the problem like i just dun wanna face it...i find my self getting selish like i say i dun wanna trouble you or tell you my problems..which is true and its like i feel like its not right saying them to you even though you say thats what your here for..my tittle "crimson ice bittersweet"is reaqlly cause i think i cannot forget him but im really trying too..i really am...i know this is gonna hurt you lots..but im really tired of facing it...i feel so guilty for still havent complety forgetting him i fell so bad for treating you this way..i mean you love me lots and stuff i but the more i think about it the more i think this cannot work...i guess last time i used to stand up but now i just seem to run away from the problems..no one wants to get hurt even you but you dun care cause you wanna make this work...but i found my self thinking selfish thoughts like trying not to get too close cause then it wouldnt hurt so much...i think i have a point in saying that i really dun desrve the love your giving me so much the love that you would go through hell for me...ithink i can say that a girl better then me does deserve it and i guess i just wasnt ready for your love cause im still not through getiing over...if this continues on i guess its just gonna hurt both of us...but i really dunno what to say like how to face this...oh shit this sucks i really dnno what to do or say..i guess ...oh forget it...
Day 2, and still waiting for your decision.
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